(linda from bob’s burgers voice) ALRIIIIGGHTTTT
im pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on a shelf i cant reach, but i dont want to jump to conclusions
IS THIS REAL.
LETS ALL APPRECIATE FOR A MOMENT THAT THE UNIVERSE EVOLVED JUST RIGHT TO MAKE THIS PUN POSSIBLE
Me: omg babe keep it down you’re gonna wake my parents!
this has gone too far
JUST A PSA:
American Airlines’ number (1-800-433-7300) is only one number away from a SEX HOTLINE (1-800-633-7300) IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING MY FLIGHT GOT CANCELED SO I HAD TO CALL AMERICAN AIRLINES AND THE LADY WROTE IT SO THE 4 LOOKED LIKE A 6 SO I CALLED IT AND THIS LADY JUST GOES ”MMMMM IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU IM SO HORNY” IM LIKE IM SHIT THIS ISN’T AMERICAN AIRLINES FUCK
my parents failed to raise me to become an olympian, i’m so disappointed in them
"And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but keep your head up”
- Tupac Shakur
Always reblog this.
when two of ur friends are closer to each other than they are to u
mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark
*screenshots ironic moment on tumblr so it gets notes.*